2014-07-17 03.07.28

Dr. Teddy blacked out my name, not me.

Went to see the psychiatrist today, let's just keep calling him Dr. Teddy Bear, for lack of a better alias. He had moved his office to a new location since I had been last, which was not a surprise considering it had been nearly 20 years.

Dr. Teddy said he didn't expect to see me after to long, I was surprised he even remembered who I was; he didn't look very happy to see me to be honest, almost troubled by it. We talked briefly about what was going on in my life, my recent health, and mental health problems. This seemed to make him more worried, but I could tell it wasn't for my sake. He reached into a drawer in his desk and pulled out a file, opened it up and started to sift through a few papers. He asked me if I was on any medication and I told him about the pills. Dr. Teddy looked out his door and nodded to someone behind me, I turned to see it was his receptionist, who nodded back and walked away.

I'm not stupid; something was up that had the doctor spooked, something about me. I knew he wasn't going to tell me, but i had to know. He told me he was going to update my clinical profile, and that he would be back in a minute. i was barely paying attention to him at that point. Once he was out the door and around the corner, I swiped some papers right off of the open file on his desk and sped through the exit in the other direction, I didn't even look at them until I got home.

2014-07-17 03.01.39

I don't know what to say...what does this all mean?? Why leave some words legible? Why black any of it out at all? This doesn't make any sense... and I can't talk to Dr. Teddy Bear again after that stunt. 

I've bought myself a switchblade and a can of mace. I'll be staying at a motel for the time being, it isn't safe here. Will update again soon.



2014-07-17 03.00.23

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