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Slender Man Vs. Unwanted House Guest is a comedy video detailing a fictional rap fight between the Unwanted House Guest meme character and Slender Man. The song is NSFW and the lyrics are explicit, so please do keep this in mind when reading this page. Additionally, please do remember some links lead to YouTube channels which may have NSFW content on their channels.
The video depicts both the Unwanted House Guest and Slender Man engaging in a rap battle to see who is the dominant character in fear.
The video begins with a host calling himself Alex introducing the video. He is bound and gagged, and being filmed by an unknown person in the dark with nightvision on.
During the first part where Unwanted House Guest is rapping, Slender Man attempts to grab him with his tentacles, only for him to unexplainably miss Unwanted House Guest. He attempts to chase Unwanted House Guest to his van, but Unwanted House Guest has made it back inside the house to the second floor with no explanation. Slender Man and Unwanted House Guest are then in a room, where Unwanted House Guest shuts the lights off and bites Slender Man on the ankle.
Slender Man then grabs Unwanted House Guest causing them to both teleport simultaneously, and they both appear in a forest. In said forest are two dead individuals who look much like Unwanted House Guest who Slender Man says are his dead parents (the indication being Slender Man killed them). Slender Man begins wildly teleporting around the forest, before grabbing Unwanted House Guest and attempting to drown him in a lake while holding him under using his tentacles. He also mocks Unwanted House Guests face.
The scene shifts to Unwanted House Guest opening his freezer to grab a piece of Slender Man's ripped apart corpse. Slender Man is then getting out of Unwanted House Guests oven, unharmed and in one piece, and runs out of the room when Unwanted House Guest was in the oven as well. He is also bit on the side of his head a bit and notices blood, indicating Unwanted House Guest has bitten him. He then runs a bit and stops to catch his breath, falling into a trap and through a trap door. When Slender Man hits the floor, Unwanted House Guest runs up and rips his spine out before grabbing Slender Man and placing him on a device that inflates him. He then tears off one of Slender Man's over-inflated tentacles and cuts it up, grabbing Hollondaise and a bloody plate, which he bites before anything is on it.
Slender Man then knocks at the door, still inflated. Unwanted House Guest opens the door and Slender Man suddenly loses his inflation and becomes extremely buff. Slender Man, now a towering giant, pulls out his cuff links and stabs them into Unwanted House Guests eyes. He then wraps Unwanted House Guest in his cummerbund and eats a massive handful of McDonald's Fries (for no particular reason). He then removes his shoe and uses its massive size to smash Unwanted House Guest into the ground, crushing Unwanted House Guest into a bloody mess. He then states that to rectify this problem altogether, he'll simply teleport back in time and kill Unwanted House Guest's creator. He then does so, decapitating said person instantly.
The video then fades out with Slender Man and Unwanted House Guest slap-fighting.
According to the end announcer, there is no clear winner, thus the winner of the fight is up to interpretation.
Unwanted House Guest: Haven't seen me in a while, I've seen you just fine. You took 5,028 breaths in your sleep last night. Where am I? Look out the window, see that parked black van? Well I look out my window, and see you Slender Man. Just surrender, damn. When people see you they hide, when people see me, they die. You've got no eyes, and no help from the moonlight. Lights off, game on. Grab your leg, om nom nom. This ain't fiction, no pretend, In the end, you'll be dead.
Slender Man: Not afraid of the dark? I like a challenge. But watch your step, you might trip over your parents! Don't you dare get blood on my Armani suit! Killing is my motherfucking hobby dude! You've got no chance, better start surrendering. So let's dance. Everyday I'm 'Slendering'. I'll run circles around you, tie you up and bound you, In the lake I'll drown you! Your face looks like shit, manure. I've got more facial expression than Kristen Stewart! You've got dying teeth, oh the irony, Without a face, I still look better than you, see? No wonder nobody wants you, you look like a more cracked out version of Gary Busey!
Unwanted House Guest: You do look better... in the back freezer of my kitchen. Kill you that easy? Well aren't we optimistic? Feel a breeze tickle your ear? No, that's just me whisperin'. Are there mosquitos out here? Nah, that's just me nibblin'. One, two, What'll I do? Three, four, Pull a trap door. Then I'll rip your spine out and make you a wacky inflatable tube man! You're working for me now, and we're having some layoffs, so I'll set your tentacles ablaze, boss. Someone please pass the Hollandaise sauce, 'cause I'll be having calamari for days, y'all.
Slender Man: Knock knock, I'm there! To send you packing. Wait for it.... RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!!!!!! Now I'll shove these cufflinks in your eyes, gag you with my cumber bun so nobody will hear your cries.
Random Voice: *break to eat McDonald's fries*
Slender Man: Then I'll whip your back, with my Kenneth Cole slacks. Use my gucci shoes to swat your ass. Like a spider, you know, the ones you swallow in your sleep. Guess who puts them there? Me. I know just how to end this song, I'll teleport to before you spawned, and kill the artist that drew you, so you were never ever drawn.
- On date 4/30/2014, this video has approximately 3,390,784 views
- The video host, Alex Negrete, is named Alex by total coincidence. He has no relation to Alex Kralie, nor Jeff's younger brother Alex nor Chris's friend Alex, although it is a rather funny coincidence.
- The video lists Unwanted House Guests stats as TERROR: 9, HORROR: 8, and DESIRE TO HAUNT YOUR DREAMS: 10, while Slender Man's stats are TERROR: 9.5, HORROR: 10, and DESIRE TO HAUNT YOUR DREAMS: 8.
- Slender Man teleports repeatedly throughout the video with a static dissolve style effect.
- At one point Slender Man has the lights shut off by Unwanted House Guest and looks around for him. Considering he's been shown in most ARG's, stories, blogs, and games as being able to somehow see in perfect darkness, this doesn't make too much sense, although given this is likely for lyrical reasons.
- Slender Man has a warped voice in the video. According to the video description, YouTube user redminus was the voice for Slender Man in the video.
- Slender Man's suit is apparently a design by Giorgio Armani.
- Slender Man at one point says "Everyday I'm Slendering", a reference to the meme Everyday I'm Shufflin, which involves a 30-40 second sound clip from the song Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO. A wikipedia page about the song exists here.
- In the video, Slender Man mockingly states he has more facial expressions than Kristen Stewart, a female actress best known for playing Bella Swan in the film adaptions of Twilight and Sarah Altman in Panic Room.
- Slender Man insults Unwanted House Guest stating he looks like a "more cracked out version of Gary Busey", an actor who has starred in films such as Lethal Weapon, Point Break, Under Siege, and many others.
- Somehow Unwanted House Guest managed to cut Slender Man into pieces in one scene and fit him in a single overhead freezer.
- Slender Man is capable of running in the video.
- According to the video, Slender Man bleeds normal red blood like a human which wouldn't make sense when you remember his skin is solid white and would be colored if he had blood vessels that close to the surface.
- Slender Man apparently has stamina and has to catch his breath despite lacking a mouth or nose. Why he didn't just teleport isn't explained, but is likely due to lyrical reasons.
- Unwanted House Guest inflates Slender Man during the video and calls him a "Wacky inflatable tube man", likely a reference to Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man, a joke from the TV series Family Guy.
- At one point Unwanted House Guest mentions using Hollandaise on Slender Man's tentacles while eating them which he calls Calamari . If Slender Man's tentacles are indeed Calamari, that would mean Slender Man himself is a humanoid squid.
- At one point Unwanted House Guest tears out Slender Man's spine, indicating he has a skeleton. Said spine is also apparently negligible to Slender Man's movement, as not having it does nothing to stop him from violently attacking Unwanted House guest shortly after.
- When Slender Man says "RELEASE THE KRAKEN " and buffs up, his suit has become cerated. Additionally, this would further the idea that the video designers label Slender Man a squid.
- Slender Man, according to the video, has monogrammed cuff links that say "S.M." that apparently ballooned up with his size increase.
- Slender Man apparently wears a Cummerbund, which the video improperly calls a "Cumber Bun".
- Slender Man throws a giant set of McDonald's French Fries at his face which a random voice says he is "eating". The Fries just seem to vanish on contact with his face and we never see a mouth.
- According to the video, Slender Man wears pants made by Kenneth Cole.
- According to the video, Slender Man wears shoes made by Gucci. Additionally, Slender Man apparently can take off his shoes.
- The video indicates that Slender Man must have to shop or steal, because his clothes are essentially designer uniforms of high quality.
- Slender Man teleporting back in time is likely based on or a reference to the incorrect assumption by readers about the Fourth Dimension Theory, which is incorrectly tied to time instead of space.
- According to the website Knowyourmeme, Unwanted House Guest's actual name is Horrifying House Guest.